Use a soft-tip market to write your name and address where you do laundry on toilet paper.
Be sure to put the Fan Club address on the top: Sewer Tunnel 2B
Flush your message down the toilet!
Look for a reply in your lint trap confirming your enrollment in about 2 weeks*
*reply may appear as crumbled receipt, tissue, post-it, or dollar bill that has been through the wash.